The Weirdness of the Georgics

Virgil is a crazy man. I have NO idea what The Georgics are about. Some of it (the last book) is ostensibly about beekeeping. At least, it has pictures of guys looking at swarms of bees in the air. But instead of spending the whole time talking about bees, Virgil suddenly decides, mid-book, that he wants to talk about some sick mythological bees and what they have to do with Orpheus' mother killing him and chopping his head off by accident. And then it's about Octavian at the end. Why is it about Octavian? I have no idea. This poem makes no sense.

Some of the other books are a little easier to handle. Book two, for example, is about trees, vines, grafting, and weaving willow twigs into various things. As a result of talking so much about about thick straight sappy growing things, the book is also fascinated with penises. The wheat, when it's ripe, seems to be a penis about to ejaculate. But the really weird thing is that trees are also vaginas. Here's how to graft branches from one tree to another, according to Virgil:

But various are the ways to change the state
Of Plants, to Bud, to Graff, t' Inoculate.
For, where the tender Rinds of Trees disclose
Their shooting Gems, a swelling Knot there grows.
Just in that space a narrow Slit we make ;
Then other Buds from bearing Trees we take ;
Inserted thus, the wounded Rind we close,
In whose moist Womb th' admitted Infant grows.
But, when the smoother Bole from Knots is free,
We make a deep Incision in the Tree.
And in the solid Wood the Slip inclose ;
The batt'ning bastard shoots again and grows ;
And in short space the laden Boughs arise,
With happy Fruit advancing to the Skies.
The Mother Plant admires the Leaves unknown
Of Alien Trees, and Apples not her own. (2:102-117)

It's like a sex change operation for a tree--just make a deep incision, stick the slip in, and suddenly the once-manly tree is now a girl tree. A pregnant girl, who doesn't even KNOW she's pregnant, because she never figures out that the apples aren't her own.

I mean, what the hell is that?